From Chapter 3 – Choice or Chance?

So there you were, back in 4 th or 5 th grade, just starting to experience your sexuality….It was pleasant and powerful and at the same time strange and scary. As great as everything felt, some guilt feelings accompanied the pleasure. Was that when you first made your “choice” to be hetero or homosexual? You might be thinking, “It never occurred to me that I had a choice. It just happened.” Listen to what you just said. Most people would respond in this way, even those who spew the most distasteful remarks at the anti-gay rallies.

So the fundamental question seems to be this: Is sexual orientation a choice or is a person created “gay” or “straight?”….If you conclude that your heterosexuality just came to you in a natural, God-given manner – without a choice; maybe you could accept that homosexual people came about their sexuality in the same God-given manner as you – without a choice. You might not understand how, you might not understand why, but you might someday believe (as I do) that God is the One who created Adam and Steve just the way they are. And I don’t know about you, but I’m not about to argue with God.

From Chapter 11 – You’re OK

If I could convince gay men and women of just one thing it would be this: “You’re OK and there’s nothing wrong with you.” Overcome your fears and doubts and accept yourself just the way you are. Don’t let anyone talk you into thinking you are anything less than a loving, caring miracle created by an All Loving God to be just what you are. Don’t let anyone talk you into believing that your life-long relationships are any less meaningful, less committed, or less dignified that any one else’s. Don’t let anyone talk you into believing that you are more or less in the eyes of God than anyone else. God created all of us to enjoy a life full of love and laughter and that does mean all of us.

From Chapter 11 – You’re OK

To the parents of gay men and women I would say, “Your son or daughter is OK and there’s nothing wrong with him or her.” Neither is there anything wrong with you or the way you raised your family. If for some reason your son or daughter inherited gay genes, it was God’s determination. I’m no preacher but I’m guessing His will is for you to totally accept and unconditionally love your children just the way they are. I’m also guessing that he would will for you to bless your son’s or daughter’s long term relationships just as you would bless your children’s heterosexual relationships. Long term gay and straight commitments probably have more in common than differences. Families are families and the bonds of love don’t ever have to be broken because of sexual orientation. And don’t care what others think. Be proud. In fact, be extremely proud that your family’s love transcends what others do or say.

From Chapter 1 – The Sign

Socrates once said, “I cannot teach a person anything. I can only make them think.” So it is with the purpose of this book. I cannot, nor do I intend to, change your mind. I only want you to think.

So as you read, momentarily put aside your emotions and think. Just think. Think about your own sexual orientation and your choice to be either heterosexual or homosexual. When did you make the choice to be “gay” or “straight?” How did you make the choice? How did you learn to be gay or straight? Who taught you how to choose your sexual orientation? If your answer is, “Well, Silly, I didn’t learn any of these things; they just came naturally.”

God Did TOO Make Adam and Steve is written for gay women and men, parents and families of gay women and men, those who accept and love gays, those who hate gay people, and everyone in between. It is written to foster more understanding and acceptance of people, regardless of their sexual orientation. (Perhaps first will come tolerance, then acceptance, then the ultimate – irrelevance.)

From Chapter 5 – What is Natural

Levity and Wisdom From Grandpa Schwartz

Although I’ll embellish the story a bit, it is basically true and Grandpa Schwartz’s quote is real. Besides, it ties in perfectly with this chapter. A friend told of the time his cousin came out of the closet at a family gathering. Try to imagine the mixture of responses. Picture a couple of the aunties gasping and immediately going into prayer. Some may have been shocked. Others may have said they suspected it all along. Maybe Mom was crying, not because her son was gay but because she knew the cruelty he would face and the hurt he would have to endure. Dad probably said, “Don’t worry, Honey, he’s a strong person, he know who he is, he’s confident and he’ll do just fine.” But Grandpa Schwartz so humorously put it all in perspective as he placed his hands behind his head, leaned back and said, “Well, ya gotta screw the way you’re threaded.” Grandpa Schwartz provided a little levity along with some great insight. Here was a man of grandfatherly age who was totally open and accepting of what to him was “natural” for his grandson. It didn’t shake him a bit. His grandson was fine, thank you, just the way he was.

From Chapter 6 – Why the Bashing?

A recent political gathering on the issue of gay marriage drew a considerable crowd of people from both sides. A newspaper account of one woman’s experience was both upsetting and heartwarming. The article included a picture of a family when the kids were small, then went on to explain that one of the sons, now in his early twenties, is gay. The mother said that their son informed them in junior high of his sexual orientation. They were a close knit church-going family with strong religions beliefs. They totally accepted, supported, and unconditionally loved their son just the way he was; the way God created him. Then she went on to tell of the cutting, hateful remarks that she had to endure from the people on the other side. One woman, face filled with vehemence, told her that her son was a sinner and was going to Hell. She told the mother that she was wrong and a sinner to support her own son.

Can you imagine that? This is the same person who probably teaches children in Sunday school that God loves them unconditionally, and then openly condemns a mother and her son. What gave her the right to tell another, a total stranger, that her child is a sinner and destined to eternal damnation just because he is gay? Is there any religious doctrine that would condone such behavior? Yet it is allowed to go on because the remarks are made against a gay person, and a gay person deserves it, right? After all, gays choose to be gay. In her heart of hearts, does the tormentor really think that people choose to be gay? Does she really think that her God is going to condemn some else because he or she is homosexual? Why the bashing? Why the misunderstanding, Why the hatred? Why the judgment? Why the condemnation? Why? Why? Why?

From Chapter 7 – The Sacred Institution

I think we can safely say that there are probably a lot more serious threats to “the institution” [of marriage] than gays being allowed to marry. Keep in mind here, we’re not trying to make moral judgments about any of the above behaviors but do pose thee questions: If you are morally opposed to gay marriage and consider it a threat to the sacredness of marriage, how could you not be opposed to divorce or cohabitation or having children out of wedlock with multiple partners, on the same grounds. Or to word it another way, if you are not opposed to the items on the above list and don’t think the government should ban such things as divorce, cohabitation or having children out of wedlock with multiple partners; how could you possibly be in favor of a constitutional ban on gay marriage? People have a lot of reasons for their opposition to gay rights, but the idea that it is a threat to the institution of marriage seems pretty weak when compared to some of the other perils it faces today….Giving gay couples the right, respect, and recognition to live in a loving relationship shouldn’t be a threat to anyone’s individual marriage nor should it pose any threat to the institution itself.

From Chapter 9 – Everyone Can Have Their Rights

Those opposed to gay marriage can get rid of their fear. A gay marriage is not going to be a threat to your marriage. If you think gays having a ceremony to profess their lifelong commitment to each other is a threat to your relationship, maybe your relationship is in trouble already. If your marriage is solid, how could a gay couple’s love for each other be a threat to your relationship or to the institution of marriage? If your relationship is solid, how could a gay couple achieving a dream of home ownership be a threat to you or your home ownership? I your marriage is solid, how would giving a gay couple the right to pass on their estate to their partner be a threat to you and your spouse?

When you get right down to it, homosexuals being allowed to live and love together doesn’t really hurt any of us, does it? Granting the right to gay couples to marry does not in any way infringe on the rights of anyone else, does it? So if gay marriage doesn’t hurt anyone and does not take away anyone’s rights, why do we need a constitutional amendment to ban it?

From Chapter 10 – Overcome the Fear

Myth number two is that a relationship between two people of the same sex is merely sexual. This is no truer than to say that a marriage, or any committed relationship between a man and a woman, is purely sexual. Sex is a part of it, but a committed relationship goes far beyond the bedroom. It is holding hands, cuddling, sharing hopes and dreams together, going through the ups and downs together, building financial security together, laughing together, having spats and making up, becoming a part of each others families, and all that other “stuff.” When we attend a 25 th or 40 th or 50 th anniversary party of a married couple we realize that their life together was a total commitment and a combination of all of the things in the sentence above. Why do we think that a committed relationship between a gay couple is any less? Because we’ve been taught to. We’ve been taught to think of a gay relationship as only a sexual attraction. But it’s not. Most of us know gay couples who have been together for years but we have rarely given them credit for the deep love they have for each other. We’ve never been taught to. We have never thought of a gay couple walking through a park as experiencing the same love for each other that a straight couple walking through the same park would be feeling. We’ve never been taught to….We have never thought that a gay couple experiencing the death of one of the couple’s parents could be feeling the same things that a straight couple would be feeling. We’ve never been taught to. We’ve never thought that a gay person watching his or her partner suffer a painful surgery would be going through the same things that a straight person would in that same situation. We’ve never been taught to.

From Chapter 10 – Overcome the Fear

Giving gay couples the same rights and recognition as a man and woman doesn’t deny anyone’s right to life, liberty, or pursuit of happiness, including married people. Isn’t it time we move beyond our hang ups and get on with the business of giving people freedom to live and love as they choose?